You’re Two!!!

My dearest Samuel,

In less than three hours you will officially be two years old. I don’t know how, but another year has passed; this one even quicker than the first. It feels like just yesterday I was holding and meeting you for the first time, and now you’re half my size and growing like a weed!

So much has happened this year and I am continuously in awe of the little person you are. Every day is truly an adventure with you. You have so much love and passion for the world. Watching you learn things for the first time or seeing a new idea or concept finally click in your mind is incredible. There truly is no greater gift than seeing life through your eyes.

Like most kids your age, you are a sponge, soaking everything in and then dripping it all back out; even things we’d wish you didn’t. You’re extremely strong-willed, funny and sensitive. You are all boy though, rough and loud and constantly on the move. You love motorcycles and trucks and trains and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is your favorite show (yes I know, I am an awful mom who lets you watch TV sometimes).

You’re still my little cuddle bud (which I love!) though, and lately you’ll ask to snuggle on the couch when you first wake up and I’m not going to lie, sitting with you on the couch or in bed is on of my favorite things because I know before long you won’t have time for such things anymore.

Music, dancing, yelling, bubbles, swimming, running and pretty much doing anything I ask you not to do are just some more of your favorite things these days. You’re constantly pushing limits and though I think it’s part of your age, I also think it is just a big part of what makes you, you.

These days I find myself constantly wishing I could just stop time for a moment because you really are growing too fast. I love you so much Samuel and am so proud of you, every single day. You made me a mom and I will never stop trying to be the best mom I can be for you. I love watching you grow up and develop into your own person. I love seeing you make your brother (and me) laugh. Your heart and spirit are so pure and loving and I will never be able to put into words just how proud and happy it makes me to be your mommy.

Thank you for such an amazing two years. I can(not) wait to see what the future holds for us all. I love you my sweet angel. Happy 2nd birthday bubba!

Love mommy

You’re 5 Months Old!!!

And tonight I probably had one of the most magical times yet being a mother of two. You had fallen asleep early as you didn’t nap all afternoon and so Samuel and I were working on a puzzle before his bedtime. You ended up waking halfway through and so I went to get you and brought you to his room. At first I could tell he was a little bit disappointed. He’s still having some issues adjusting to the big brother role, particularly when he first wakes up from sleep or if he is going down,  but after a few minutes he was fine.

After he finished the puzzle he wanted to play his drums. You were watching him so intently and then started moving your arms like you were drumming too and so I said, “Samuel look, Everett’s drumming too because he wants to be like you.” His face kind of lit up and then he said, “Help.” And pointed to you with the drum stick. I proceeded to get a drum stick for you and then he let you play with him.

It was incredible. My two beautiful boys really playing together. It made my heart so happy, just as it has been every day since you blessed us with your presence

I’m sorry I haven’t written yet. Not about your birth or anything. It makes me sad to think I haven’t documented anything yet, but as I was sitting there this evening watching you guys play I didn’t have a camera either and it made me realize that taking pictures of everything isn’t what is important. I mean yes, I like documenting things, especially so that we can show family since we don’t live near anyone but more so than worrying about the perfect picture, I just need to worry about being in the moment and really soaking it in.

Your birth was amazing. It couldn’t have gone more perfect. I woke up first thing in the morning not feeling very well. Called the hospital when I started having contractions and they told me to wait at least two hours before coming. Thank goodness I didn’t listen. As soon as I hung up the phone I woke your dad and started getting stuff together because I knew we had to leave. We brought Samuel to the Williams’ house and talked for a few minutes about what to expect. Then we left for the hospital and once there, they checked me and moved us to a labor and delivery room.

I started getting really uncomfortable but like your brother, my water never broke. They checked me again and said we were ready to start pushing. The same doctor who delivered your brother delivered you which like never happens in military life. When it came time to push I no longer felt ready though. I felt tired. And it had only been about an hour and a half of labor. I tell everyone I think I felt that way because I hadn’t gotten real sleep in 18 months since your brother was still never sleeping through the night at that point lol. But everyone told me I could do it and your dad told me I had to do it ha do shortly after you were here.

You didn’t cry which made me super nervous but five months later I can see that that’s just not who you are. You aren’t a crier. You aren’t a screamer. You don’t seem to make noise just to make noise. If you’re talking, there’s a reason and I think that is just part of who you are. Who knows. Maybe things will change as you get older and I honestly cannot wait to continue to see your personality develop and unfold but right now you are my sweet, funny, happy and adorably pleasant little boy. You’re growing too fast and already wearing 9-12 month cloths. I feel like time is going too fast. Like I never got to even see you be a baby but I guess that’s what happens when you have two kids and when you’re moving a lot during the first few months. Daddy’s orders got bumped up so we did a lot of traveling and packing while you were very young. And you were just amazing. Looking back I still can’t believe how easy going you are. How we drove up and down the east coast and you handled it with such ease.

Everett you are such a pure light in all of our lives. I truly did not know anything was missing until you were here. My heart has never been so happy and thankful and joyous as it has been since you entered our lives and made me the mommy of two perfect little boys. I cannot imagine our life without you in it. I hope you always know how amazing I think you are and how grateful I am for you. I love you so much sweet boy. Happy five months. Looking forward to many many more years of happiness and joy with you and your brother.

39 Weeks – My Letter to Baby Boy #2

To my sweet baby boy,

Today marks 39 weeks and let me tell you, this pregnancy has flown! I cannot believe that your due date is just one week away. I hope that means we will get to hold you soon because we are beyond excited to meet the incredible baby boy who has been growing inside me this last 9 1/2 months!

I have been meaning to write your letter for a couple of weeks now but sitting down and getting uninterrupted time with you is not easy between your amazing big brother, daddy, Charly and all the work mommy has. This morning I decided to make sure I take the time to write to you though because you really should be coming soon and for that, I am beyond excited.

Right now I have Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on for your brother and he is in the middle of adding subtitles to it – guess he wants to start learning another language LOL. He is also running to our back door and looking outside while showing me his train tracks and trains. You are moving around, more like a rolling around compared to the jabby movements I use to get from your brother and feeling you move inside of me will always be one of my best memories.

It truly is incredible just how different your pregnancies have been for mommy. You have always been much more fluid in your movements. Not so much quick kicks and punches as just gradual twists and turns. At each of your checkups, your heart rate has been in the high 130s to low 140s; Samuel’s on the other hand was always a consistent 160s. Does that mean you will be my calm son? My more go-with-the-flow, happy-go-lucky little boy? Only time will tell and I cannot wait to see just who you are my sweet boy.

After everything we have been through this pregnancy – the scary way it started off, the motorcycle accident at 16 1/2 weeks, the terrible feeling following being told you were not growing the way you should – but then miraculously after every incident always finding out that you were still there, with a strong and steady heartbeat and healthy. You are strong my boy; physically and mentally strong. That makes me happy and thankful for so many reasons.

You already amaze me so much and without even having met you yet, I am in awe of the person that you are. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms for the first time. To see your beautiful face and hear your wonderful cry. To know that you are finally here and bring you home will change our family completely and in the best possible way. I cannot wait to see your brother become a big brother and to watch your father become a daddy to another precious baby boy and to see how much more gray hair Charly gets once we walk you in the door.

I pray for strength for myself because I know I will need it with two perfect little boys to raise. I pray that I can be the mom you need and deserve. I pray that you always know how much I love you; how much I have loved you since the moment I suspected you were growing inside me. You are an amazing little boy and I cannot wait to find out who you really are and watch you grow.

Well my precious son, it won’t (I hope) be much longer until you are here in my arms. Take your time though and know that mommy and daddy are ready when you are. You are loved beyond measure my sweet, sweet boy.

Forever and always,


Six More Weeks Left

It is so hard to believe that in just six more weeks (give or take) the baby will be here and we will be a real family of four.

Lately I have been started to get a bit worried or scared maybe? that I won’t be able to be the mom both of these boys deserve. I’m sure most moms go through this wonder of what it will be like when there are two tiny humans to care for and not just the one anymore. I just know how much time and energy Samuel takes and I wonder if I will be able to show both boys the same amount of attention. I don’t want either one to feel neglected or alone.

And I know plenty of people have handled this before so I am sure I will be able to. I mean I am so excited to have another baby and especially to have two boys that will be so close in age. I know it will mean more craziness and messy faces/hands/rooms/etc. and I know there will be fights and screaming and temper tantrums, but I am just so, so excited for the love and friendship and closeness that (I hope) will also be there.

I just hope I can do a good job. Be a good mother and wife and woman. I want so badly to be good for all my guys, I just hope I can find the balance and be the woman everyone needs and deserves me to be…

On a side note, last week was Michael’s birthday, the CO Tree Lighting and we got Samuel’s first hair cut. He went from awesome rock star hair to a much cleaner and casual little boy hair cut and I honestly love it – and think he does too! Gone are the days of having to continuously wipe hair out of his eyes while he is running and playing. I truly think he loves being able to see everything the world has to offer and it makes me happy to see him so happy. He certainly looks like he is ready to be a big brother being that the cut completely made him look much older and makes me wonder where my baby boy has gone.

What I have realized the most lately is that time really does go by too fast. The good days. The bad days. They are all gone within a flash now. I just want to slow it down, but know that is impossible so more importantly, I just want to enjoy it. The laughs. The tears. The messy house and the people I love the most.

Christmas is next week and Baby Hastings will finally be making his or her debut. I cannot wait to see family and meet that little nephew or niece of mine. I know my sister and brother-in-law will be such incredible parents. I am so excited for them to experience the most amazing gift in the world and for our whole family to grow by another precious little baby <3

It has been way too long!

I cannot believe it! Samuel is 15 months old and my last post was from when he was a mere five weeks!! That makes me sad. I mean really, do I not have the time to take 20 minutes and write about how things have been going? Honestly, probably not. Between work, the house, Charly, Samuel, Michael and now being almost 29 weeks pregnant things have been, well, busy!!

Samuel still doesn’t sleep through the night nor does he take consistent naps so it makes getting things done slightly difficult, but beautiful nonetheless.

Being his mom is still one of the greatest things to ever have happened and I am constantly blessed by his presence every day.

I find these days to be difficult sometimes. His constant go, go, go attitude. His need to do E V E R Y thing himself. His lack of sleep and last molar coming through. Oye, lets just say I am tired. And praying for patience on a daily basis. But he is incredible. So smart. So loving. So curious and independent and wild. He is a total boy and I love every bit of attitude, dirt and toughness.

I hope that I am being a good mom to him. I strive every day to be the mom he needs, the mom he deserves. And now that we are only a few short months away from bringing home our second baby boy I worry. How will I be able to handle two? Will I be able to give them the love and attention that they each need and want and deserve to have? How will I find time to be the wife Michael deserves and the human mom my sweet Charly deserves?

It is scary to think about at times. But honestly, I think it will all be okay. I think the hardest part is my perfectionist attitude. My constant want to be the perfect mom, perfect wife, perfect woman. I know I’m nowhere near perfect and I know that no one is, yet I keep striving to be who I think I should be and I just hope that will be enough…

Well, this is turning more into musings about my fear and worry that I just need to let go of and have faith that all will be well so I guess I will end this post and get back to work.

Til next time my friends.

Samuel is 5 weeks old!!

Goodness I cannot believe how the time is FLYING!!! I thought the pregnancy went fast – well at least until the last few weeks – but life after his birth has been a whirlwind! Sometimes I find myself not having time to go to the bathroom (reminds me of when I worked at UM for L’Oreal LOL) and so writing here has been difficult. I really would like to keep up with this though so I’m going to try harder to write at least a couple times a month. With the other writing that I do though, it might not be so easy; at least not until we get a schedule going.

Today Samuel has been sleeping a lot. He also slept great last night! I have stopped keeping track of his feedings and diaper changes. Labor Day weekend just passed and with Michael home, we were busy, especially that Sunday and so I just decided to stop writing every little thing down. I mean I pretty much know what is normal for him at this point so I feel confident in myself to know if it looks like he is eating less or something. 

He has still been having issues with the gassiness and colic though I have found that the swaddling and white noise helps tremendously! I thought in the beginning that he hated the swaddle as he would just continue crying and crying but after our friend Drew swaddled him on Labor Day, I realized that I just wasn’t doing it tight enough and so that is why it didn’t have any affect on him. I guess with Samuel being my first baby, I really have been treating him like glass and so even watching Drew swaddle him had me a little nervous but when I saw how comfortable it actually made Samuel, it made me feel bad I didn’t figure it out sooner. He quiets down almost immediately; it truly is amazing! 

During Samuel’s first month, mom and Lorenzo were here and he also got to meet Aunt Ariana and great grandma and grandpa. Everyone was such a big help to us, really taking care of Charly and all of us by helping to cook and clean. I definitely felt blessed to have them here, especially my mom in those first days when everything is so new and I really felt like I had no idea what to do. It was nice to have her reassurance and have her tell me I was being a great mom as that is all I want to do, be a great mom to Samuel and a great wife and daughter and sister. Family really is everything and I just feel so blessed to have the family that we do. We are incredibly lucky and I’m so grateful to be able to raise Samuel with our family. 

I’m looking forward to making our trip north – probably not until Thanksgiving now – and having the rest of the family meet Samuel. He has already grown so much that I can’t even imagine what he will be like then, but I am excited to continue watching him grow and change in the upcoming days. Being a mom is definitely the greatest blessing I ever could have imagined and though it is tiring with all these middle of the night feedings and diaper changes and melt downs lol and it is hard to imagine ever getting even five hours of sleep in a row again, I just feel so blessed and I truly know that it won’t be like this forever and so I’m really just trying to enjoy the experience and take it for what it is. 

Michael is away for awhile at school, but I’m excited to see what the Marine Corps is going to decide for us in the coming months and where we will end up next. I am definitely over living in the South and sooo looking forward to experiencing something new. Well, Samuel is waking up so I must go. Until next time!

Samuel is one week old!!!

Well, lots has changed since my last post as Samuel was born one week ago today :) This week has gone so fast despite it being long – and tiring lol. It’s hard to believe that he has been with us for a full week and how much he has already changed.

Our labor and delivery was incredible. We really could not have been more blessed as the entire process lasted less than 6 hours. Can you believe that?! Our first pregnancy and labor was less than 6 hours! We went out last Wednesday night to Buffalo Wild Wings with some friends so that we could eat some spicy food and see if labor would come on. Michael and I shared mango habanero and caribbean jerk wings; neither of which seemed awfully spicy, but we’re thinking they helped! After BWW, we went and got ice cream from Brewster’s and then came home. Lauren sent me a text to get down on all fours and shake my booty as she has this list of 29 things to do to naturally induce labor. Michael had gone to sleep and after I finished putting his lunch together for the next day, I decided to try it just for kicks. I sent her a text saying I did so and she asked me if it worked and then told me to do it again. I wasn’t sure how long to do it and kind of felt like a fool as Charly thought I was trying to play with him lol. But I did it again and literally within 30 minutes (beginning at 10 PM) I was having contractions that lasted from 60-120 seconds  long and coming every two minutes.

After two hours, I actually called the hospital as I thought I might be in labor but since it was my first experience I wasn’t 100% sure and I did not want to wake Michael up for a false alarm. The nurse told me to give it another hour and if everything continued, come in. So I took a shower and just kept breathing through the contractions, but after another 30 minutes I knew we needed to get to the hospital. So I woke Michael up and he threw on some clothes, grabbed our bags and we were on our way. Sitting in the car was difficult as I just felt extremely uncomfortable sitting during contractions. Thank God the hospital was seriously only five minutes from our house and so once we got there, they checked me in and made me change. They checked my blood pressure and Samuel’s heartbeat, as well as how far dialated I was. I got nervous that they’d tell me I was still only one centimeter, but instead we had finally made progress, I was 3-4!! So I stayed attached to the monitor but was able to stand and walk around since my water still hadn’t broken.

At 6 centimeters, they moved us to the labor and delivery room and by 3 AM, we were fully dilated and I was feeling like I needed to push. They had me wait for the doctor and she ended up needing to break my water on her own. But once I was able to begin pushing, Samuel was out within 30 minutes!! It was just so incredible! We couldn’t believe how fast and smooth everything went and seeing our baby boy for the first time was something I cannot really express in words. It just amazed me and even looking at him today, I still cannot fully believe he came out of me and that he is our son. What a miracle.

The hardest part of our delivery was definitely the pushing. And really I think it was more because I was just embarrassed. I mean it is a lot of pressure all these people standing around you, telling you what to do and when lol but breathing through the contractions was pretty easy for me. The nurse was even so surprised how calm I stayed – as I did not get an epidural. She said she had only seen someone do that once before and she asked me what I was concentrating on to stay so calm. I told her I was just praying to God and focusing on the outcome which was Samuel. I wanted to give him as smooth a birth as I could so I tried to do everything in my power to stay calm and relaxed. Plus having Michael with me helped tremendously as he always keeps me calm no matter the situation and helped me to breathe through contractions and remember that they would end.

Overall, pregnancy, labor and delivery was in incredible. I seriously could not have wished for a better experience and at the end of it all, a more precious and beautiful baby. Samuel is healthy and strong. He weighed 7 pounds, 6 ounces at birth and was 19 and 3/4 inches long. He lost some weight while we were in the hospital which brought him to 7 pounds 1 ounce but when we went for his checkup on Monday, he weighed 7 pounds, 6 and 1/2 ounces which meant he had gained back all his weight, plus half an ounce and he had grown an inch! The pediatrician was so impressed as we are breastfeeding and so he thought it was so wonderful that Samuel had already gained back his weight. I just feel so blessed and thankful to God for everything. After experiencing this, I really don’t know how someone can’t believe in God. Having a baby truly is a miracle and I just love being a mama.

Samuel has already changed so much in this week. He’s been holding his neck up and turning his head and becoming more and more stubborn everyday lol. I’m just trying to embrace it all and take in every minute of holding him I can because I know he will not be like this for long. Sleeping has been scare as at night he tends to wake up more often but I know one day we’ll get on a schedule and he will sleep more. Until then, I’m just going to stay focused on being thankful that he is healthy and eating and continue to remember that the sleepless nights will pass and eventually, I’ll miss them and his constant want to be held.

Samuel, mama and daddy love you soo much!! And we are just so happy and thankful you are here with us. You are growing so fast already and we are so proud of you! Happy one week baby boy <3